Oxymorons

Our family is contrary in many respects, but recently we've experienced some actual oxymorons! See how many you can identify in this current history:

Almost exactly a month ago, Bob took a working vacation and drove out to BYU with Seth, just the two of them alone together. They loosely packed all Seth's belongings, as well as a set of bunkbeds for David and Char's family, into the light-weight Dodge Dakota, and embarked, hopelessly optimistic that they could make the journey in two days.

On the way they stopped at a couple of Church history sites, including Liberty Jail, where they saw an original replica of the dungeon sometimes referred to as "the prison temple." Another stop was the Temple Lot in Independence, where they stood in pronounced silence, contemplating one of the most hallowed spots on earth.

Nothing much happened for several hundred miles, until they saw a night light on the dashboard and heard a quiet noise from under the hood... Their engine had overheated, and they came to a rolling stop near the mini-metropolis of Fort Bridger, Wyoming, population 150. (Bob was amazed, but unless he was given some incorrect facts, there are six wards in the surrounding area of six square miles!) A small crowd gathered to commiserate, but the only choice our boys had was to spend the night and wait for the local auto parts store to open. A couple of individuals were awfully nice and after giving them an exact estimate, helped them replace the thermostat and resume their journey, with nothing more dramatic than some poor quality gas.

Their next stop was at the home of Char's brother Tim, where they had arranged to drop the bunk beds until they could finish their journey to Oregon. Was Seth deliberately thoughtless or just talking on his cell phone while driving? Same difference: he backed into a neighbor's car. It was pretty ugly. (I let out a silent scream when I heard about it over the phone, but fortunately was able to act naturally.) We were terribly pleased when the benevolent neighbor settled without appealing to insurance; she was very understanding, realizing it was not an intentional accident.

They finally pulled into Provo, feeling like the living dead. Bob was able to meet some of Seth's new roommates. One of them is of small stature; another is a serious joker. On campus, they were surprised to notice a common rarity: numerous coeds wearing tight slacks! Despite BYU's dress code, this seems to be unusually normal.

Bethany clearly misunderstood their communications; when they arrived at her apartment they found her missing. Eventually she turned up, and they all went out to a cheap seafood joint for some fresh frozen, genuine imitation jumbo shrimp. (Bob was sure it was undercooked; he complained of freezer burn to the waitress, but it did no good as she was a resident alien who spoke no English... Usually he enjoys seafood, but he felt his dinner was fit only for a sanitary landfill.)

As for the rest of the family, we are keeping busy. Every Tuesday we have a "cousin day," where the local grandkids convene at Grama's for a few hours. Abigail constantly entertains us with her precocious vocabulary--everything she says is an instant classic. Whenever she and Clark have one of their passive agressive altercations, Adam is there to serve as a peace force. Jane, Anne, and Hannah alternate playing the roles of "sweet" and "tart"! Hyrum and Melody are favorite babysitters, without question.

In addition to Joseph's amazing cross country running (he recently ran a 16:13 5K at county!), Tabitha and Tommy also participated in a 5K "fun run" sponsored by Tommy's employer.

Suellen is either a real faker, or a neurological anomaly. Several weeks ago she started complaining of a numb feeling; it has become uncommonly ordinary for her to experience icy hot tingling in her extremities, but the doctor finds absolutely nothing to account for it. Good grief!

Well, that about wraps it up, so I will close. I believe it was Shakespeare who said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Let's drink to that...bottoms up!